Internet Fun
by IApproveThisMessage
Summary: Hanji finds this box with a screen on it somewhere and shows it to Erwin and Levi. This box apparently has something called 'Internet'. Being the curious people that they are, they decided to search through it to find... Very... Interesting... Things, like pictures of themselves, yao-wee (yaoi), LEMON fanfictions, their own manga, etc. No pairing. Written in Levi's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

This fanfiction has been the result of pure boredom. I have no idea where I'm going with this. I don't think there'll be a pairing. Might be more than one chapter, idk yet.

Written in Levi/Rivaille's POV.

* * *

**Chapter 1 - A Box with a Screen (I think it's called a 'computer')**

"YOU GUYS! Look at what I found!" Glasses bursts through the door and runs over to us holding some dusty box with a separate thing that held letters and a weird device thing. I frown and cross my arms.

"What the hell is that?" I was not interested in this whatsoever, but she wouldn't stop pestering me if I didn't listen to her useless rant. Rolling my eyes, Erwin and I take a step closer to the dangerous maniac.

"I actually have NO idea! Erwin, let me plug this in!" Being the stupid woman she is, she wiped everything off of the desk. Yes, our papers falling to the ground. Now they were completely out of order.

They were making a mess on the floor, too.

"Major Hanji..." Erwin facepalms at the stupid woman's rash decision. Yeah, can you blame him? No, you can't.

Stupid glasses slams the dirty box on the desk and I cough. Ugh, the dust is already weakening my immune system.

"Can we clean this thing first?"

"We don't have time for that!" Hanji grabs the plug and inserts it in the outlet. Suddenly, something pops up on the screen. "Oh, I think we use this thingy to control that arrow thing on the screen!"

She held the device used to control the arrow on the screen. Whenever Hanji moved the device, the arrow thing would move, too. I widen my eyes, what kind of sorcery is this?

"I-I'm going to go find something, so... Yeah." Erwin, taking no interest in the box with a screen, leaves the room. I eye him suspiciously, he took notice of it and nodded. 'Keep her company.'

He expects me to listen to this woman rant about this box? I'd prefer cleaning. Of course, cleaning is lyfe. I didn't choose the cleaning lyfe, the cleaning lyfe chose me. With that, Erwin leaves.

"Oh! What's the... In-tehr-neet?" Her eyes produced stars and sparkley things.

"It's pronounced 'in-tehr-neht', stupid. Click on it." As much as I hated it, I was slightly interested in this box. Hanji noticed this and nodded.

"Oh, you are interested, Levi! At least we have one thing in common now! Ahahaha!" She laughs loud and pats my back.

"Get on with it."

"Hai hai." Her index finger taps the little button on the device.

Suddenly, another thing appeared in the screen. I jumped from my seat slightly, so did stupid glasses. She looks at me, I could see the drool slowly dripping out of her mouth.

"Let's call it a window."

"Why the hell would we name it a window?"

"Because that is the first thing I saw." I saw Hanji glance her eyes over to a window and I roll my eyes.

"Whatever."

When opening the window, we were taken to a page or a website.

"Goggle? No, I think it's Googlee."

"It obviously says Google, stupid."

"Ohhhh~~!"

I roll my eyes and examine the screen. It was a white page with the word 'Google' plastered in the middle. It hurt my eyes, all of them were a different color. Ugh. Underneath the sign was a bar.

"Type something up there. We'll call it a search bar." I point at the long box and she gasps.

"Wow! You're really smart, Levi! I think we use this letter thing to type, right?"

"I think so." She presses on the search bar and I press something in the letter thing. "We'll call this a letter board."

"But a keyboard sounds cooler. It reminds me of piano keys, right? A keyboard it is!" Her hands curve to make a thumbs up and I roll my eyes for the ten millionth time.

"Whatever. Just type something up." I was getting rather impatient about this. I want to know what 'Google' does.

"Hmm... Let's type up... bread!" Yes, our genius scientist just thought of typing bread in Google.

"Why can't we type up something like tita- nevermind. Just type." If I mention the "T" word, my head will explode as a result of the stupid woman's voice. Her mouth, like, vomits out titan information.

Anyway, Hanji types up the word 'bread' and presses enter. We wait anxiously.

Well, that didn't take long. Not even a second I think.

"Wow... So much information on bread!" Hanji presses on images and all these different pictures of bread pop up. The variety was so much, it made both her and I drool like Potato girl. I've never felt so hungry before...

"..." I was speechless. For that one time in my life, the lust I held for cleaning supplies transferred to these mouth-watering breads.

"Let's type your name up!" Her eyes began to draw stars in them. When was my name so interesting to her?

"Uhm... Sure." At that moment, I really didn't know how to react to this. I mean, what could possibly pop up when writing my name?

* * *

In Google Images, Hanji types up 'Levi' and presses enter. I gulp as I await for the pictures to pop up.

"AHAHAHAHA! Y-You're a pair of jeans, Levi! Jeans!" Hanji's laughter penetrated the whole room as I felt a rush of embarrassment slap me across the face.

"I-I'm not a pair of jeans, stupid glasses!" I felt my face heat up slightly. Never in my life have I been so embarrassment. How would my cadets feel when they realize that their corporal is just a pair of jeans? A nice pair of jeans, too. They really emphasize on the back.

As I cover my face from shame, Hanji suddenly stopped laughing.

"L-Levi..." I perk my head up and glare at her.

"What now?"

"W-Why is there a face of you here?"

I immediately pushed her out of the way and saw a picture of my face, making my freeze.

"Why... Why the hell would someone put my face here? I know I'm sexy and all, but... This is too much." I looked at the picture of me looking at me. Wow.

I am hot.

"Oh, stop being so cocky. You're just sexy out of default." I heard the scientist snicker, making me narrow my eyes at her.

"I'm typing 'Levi Rivaille' in here." Typing was actually pretty hard, but I managed. When I pressed enter, I completely froze.

"I get that Levi is strong, but dressing up as him is too much." Her voice cracked and I immediately knew she was holding in her laughter.

"It means I'm a role model to some." I defend. Of course.

As we scroll down to find more pictures, I realized something. There were pictures that looked exactly like and some that are drawn differently. They still look like me, but they don't look exactly like me.

"I think some of these may be fanart, but I don't know." After two minutes of scrolling down, she scrolls to the top again. That was when we realized there were suggestions under the search bar.

"Oi, there are some suggestions there. Click on one." I was curious. Really curious, in fact. Why were there so many pictures of me online? Why do people dress up as me? Am I that popular?

"Oh! This seems interesting. 'Rivaille y-yoia?' How do I say this?" I focus my dark eyes on the screen and squint a bit.

"Y-Yoai? Ya-oiiy? Yao-wee?" I tilt my head slightly as Hanji hovers the arrow thing over the suggestion that says 'Rivaille yaoi'.

"Ya-oiiiy. That sounds correct, but let's call it Yaoi (yao-wee)!" She suggests. I shrug my shoulders and nod. It's not like this yaoi thing was going to tarnish my image as corporal or anything like that.

Then, she pressed on it.

I. Am. Scarred. For. Life.

* * *

End of chapter 1. Yay. Review if you want to.

Next Chapter: **Chapter 2 - Yao-wee with Eren and Erwin**


	2. Chapter 2

I'm writing this to improve writing reaction. Oh well, practice makes perfect. Yay to Chapter 2.

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Yao-wee with Eren and Erwin**

When Hanji clicked the button, I felt my eyes dry up. My head became dizzy, my eyes blurred, my legs became shaky. I lost all conscience of myself. Hanji's eyes were also glued on the screen, petrified as well.

I just couldn't process the images presented on the page. It made me feel so uncomfortable, yet so turned on...

"Uhm... Heichou?" I heard the door open slightly, revealing Eren Jaeger.

Perfect timing.

I wanted to tell the young lad to get out and stay away from the screen, but at that moment, my brain lost control of my whole body. All my body members had a mind of their own now, there was nothing controlling my actions anymore. Besides, nobody in my body wanted to do anything.

The pictures were so disturbing and unhealthy, but I just couldn't bring my eyes away from them. My mouth was hung open as I felt Eren raise an eyebrow.

"Heichou? Major Hanji?" Eren took a step closer and I desperately wanted to tell him to STAY AWAY FROM THE SCREEN, but I couldn't. I felt all of the saliva in my mouth evaporate away as the titan shifter takes a few steps closer. "What happened?"

That was when Eren tilted his head to get a better view of the computer screen.

The whole world froze.

Time stopped.

Oxygen left the room.

People started to die x2

Eren's face morphed into a tomato.

"W-What the hell is that, Heichou?" The fifteen year old jerks his body away. He covers his face with both his hands and shakes his head to rid of the images of uhm... Me.

"I... I think it's Levi and Eren porn." Hanji said through breaths. My mind went blank like a sheet of copy paper. I just couldn't process anything right now.

After what seemed like hours, I finally regained some of myself and took a deep breath.

"I... I will tell you now, I have never had sex with Eren or Erwin."

After I said that, there was a pregnant pause.

"I-I never restrained Eren like that, I've never held Eren like that, I've never touched Eren like that! These are all lies." I blurted out every little thing in my mind. I didn't care about anything right now. Of course, my voice was stoic and strong as usual.

"We know, Lev-"

"Tch... I wouldn't be interested in doing this anyway. I actually value human life. I wouldn't rape Eren, too. He's too young! He probably never had his first kiss yet!" I pointed at Eren and he turned even more red. If that was possible, that is. My voice didn't sound wavering, it was more on the commanding tone.

"L-Levi-heichou never did those stuff to me! I swear!" He was also babbling crap out like me.

"I know. The way you immediately went into denial kinda raises my suspicion. Maybe..."

"NO!" Eren and I yell in unison. My fingers crunched up to form a fist that soon left a bruise in that woman's stomach for the second time.

"H-Hey! I was kidding!"

"Throw out the damn box! It's filled with hate and desire and pain and shame and-"

"Eren and Levi porn"

My fist immediately came in contact with the maniac's stomach for the... How many times has it been? Tch, I lost count. She coughs out some blood and clenches her stomach.

"I-I was just kidding..."

"Heichou... Can you explain to me what this is?" Eren hides his emerald eyes behind his chestnut hair and opens a window to let fresh air in. Not the box window, but a window window. The things on the wall. Not the one in the internet... You get what I mean.

"This maniac here found a box that has something called 'internet'. Apparently, it has many pictures of me-"

"-raping Eren." She smiles happily and laughs nervously. I pull her dark hair. "O-Ow! Levi! I was kidding!"

"And how many times have you said that?" I glare at her and she smiles bigger than before.

"Continue, Heichou."

"Right. Anyway, this 'internet' thing has pictures of me and people dressing up as me."

Eren coughs. Hanji coughs.

"Do you want me to continue or not?"

"P-Please do, Heichou." Like Hanji, he wanted to laugh out loud. I roll my eyes and continue my story.

"They also have pictures of bread." With that, I finish my story.

And then...

"What's with all the commotion in here?" The door opens to reveal our Commander.

We froze.

The earth stopped rotating.

He took a step closer.

Cue dramatic music (Vogel im Kafig would be pretty good.)

Every thing became slow motion.

Why, you ask?

_We forgot to close the window._

None of us said a word. Our minds were in no conscience state. We couldn't do anything but await Erwin's eyes to see the screen.

He took a step behind me and looked over the screen.

The papers he were holding fell to the floor.

His eyes dried out.

"What... What did you type up?" His voice was emotionless.

"Rivaille yaoi." Was Hanji's emotionless answer.

"Thank you." He picks up the papers and gets out a pen. He wrote something in one of the papers. "How do you spell 'yaoi'?"

"Y-A-O-I."

"Thank you. I want to use the box tonight. Okay then. I hope you all have a good day." He drags his feet across the room, glances back at us, nods, and leaves the room.

...

Our whole bodies became dull.

...

"What would Commander Erwin need to spell 'yaoi' for?" Eren asks.

"Why does he want to use it at night?" Hanji asks yet.

"I think it's best not to know." I finish.

...

After a three minute pause, we all get up.

"Well! I need to do some research~!"

"I'm going to clean this filthy room."

"I have dinner now."

Without saying another word,we clicked 'X' on the window and went out separate ways.

* * *

**Later that night...**

The sounds of clicking could be heard in Erwin's room as the silent voice of his eyes cried out. His light eyes kept themselves glued to the screen.

He types up 'Rivaille yaoi' and smirks.

"I never knew Levi was into this stuff."

* * *

Yay. Chapter 2 ish finished~. Please review. I'm sorry if it's confusing about the Levi/Rivaille thing. They're the same person.

Next Chapter: **Chapter 3 - What is a Lemon Fanfiction?****  
**


	3. Chapter 3

I work on this on and off, so I don't know if this is even a good fanfic, so... Yeah.

This kinda more or less contains lemon.

* * *

**Chapter 3 - What is a Lemon Fanfiction?**

For some reason, Hanji was being a complete freak and was searching up 'Levi x Eren' a lot. Are girls really into this stuff? That's filthy. That's really filthy. The word filthy is filthy. That sentence is filthy. Everything with the word filthy is filthy. Moving along, Hanji and I decided to take turns using the box. I'll call it a computer. I would always search up different kinds of cleaning supplies, whereas Hanji, on the other hand, would look up yaoi. Glancing at the clock, it was 4:31, I get up from my seat.

"Off. It's my turn." I walk over to the maniacal glasses girl and shoo her away.

"Levi, what is a lemon fanfiction?" She didn't take her eyes off of the screen, she kept them on the screen at all times. Narrowing my neatly trimmed brows, I look at the screen. "Fanfiction is when somebody writes stories about whatever they want using the characters or the plot of a show, book, etc."

"Aren't lemons those yellow fruits? Lots of the disinfecting wipes are usually lemon scented." Yes, I know how my material smell like. "If you're so curious, then click the damn link. You're wasting my time."

"Read it with me!" I roll my eyes and nod. She smiles happily and presses on the link.

I brace myself.

The intehrnet is filled with very atrocious things.

I know that first hand.

"Okay. Should we read it out loud or to ourselves?"

"I don't want to hear your voice, so to ourselves."

"Okay." She nods in agreement and we scan our eyes on the screen.

Oh dear god.

_"H-Heichou! Can I talk to you for a moment?" The emerald-eyed titan shifter asks, blushing deeply, knowing that the man he's been crushing on is currently in front of him. His corporal, Levi, turns his head and shows his usual stoic expression to e blushing figure before him._

_"What is it, Eren?" Levi takes a step closer and Eren shuts his eyes closed. The aura that emitted from the shorter man frightened Eren, but it didn't deter him from doing what he came here for._

_"I-I love you, Heichou!" Eren confesses. Humanity's Strongest widens his eyes. "I'm sorry, I just really needed to say it!"_

_Before the younger man knew it, his back was against the wall. Eren blushes at the position that they are in._

_"H-Heichou!"_

_"Shut up, brat. Somebody might here you." Levi pierces his obsidian eyes on Eren as his lips graze against Eren's. The titan shifter was shocked, but he was more shocked that his Corporal's lips were as soft as cotton. Levi didn't show any sign of discomfort as he pokes his tongue between Eren's lips. The uke was a bit hesitant, but gave in to his Corporal's lusty command. "Good."_

_Levi's warm and moist tongue came in contact with Eren's as he went further. It explored more than Eren felt comfortable, but that didn't stop him. With Eren distracted, Levi slides his hand down Eren's pants to-_

"Okay, that's enough!" I pant softly as I look away and cover my mouth. Who would actually write that? I turn around and open a window to let the fresh air come in. I didn't want Hanji to know what that story was doing to me.

"Woah! Levi, you're a beast! You're hurting poor little Eren!" SHE'S ACTUALLY ENJOYING THIS?

"You sick woman." I take a huge gulp of air and let it out.

"So basically, a lemon is... hentai in written version." Hanji exhales and looks at me. Her face was extremely red, something very similar to mine.

"Very very explicit stories, basically." I clench my teeth and attempt to rid the written version of yaoi.

Suddenly, there was a knock.

"Uhm... Heichou? Major Hanji?" Eren pokes his head between the door and looks at our blushing faces. "Uhm... Commander Erwin told me to give you guys some food."

He enters with a basket of fruits.

"I've got oranges, pears, lemons-"

"GET THAT VILE FRUIT AWAY FROM ME." Yelling was not something I liked to do, but my brain was on the verge of killing me.

"W-Why don't you like lemons? They're so juicy-"

"Indeed!" Hanjin smiles big and I blush harder.

"They're juicy and they squeeze out so much juice. A-And it's shaped like a ball, right! Ball is life!" Eren's eyes showed stars and I completely turn around. I didn't want to show Eren what was happening to me due to his innocent talk about lemons.

"You're turning Levi on, Eren! Stop acting so innocent." My heart froze and I died for a second. I can't let my Cadets see their turned on Corporal!

"But... Lemons are good! Right?" I cover my face and kick Hanji out of her seat. I needed to sit down.

"Such a gentlemen!"

Why does this feel so familiar?

Oh, right. We forgot to close the window.

"Did something happen?" Eren walks over to us and looks at the screen.

_"H-Heichou... Ughh... Harder..." Eren's lewd moans penetrated the hallways as his Corporal also lets out a moan, only not as loud._

_"Shut up, you're too loud... Tch... So tight."_

_"L-Levi-heichou!" The titan shifter lets out a great moan and he finally-_

"W-What are you reading, Heichou?"

"A... Lemon fanfiction."

Eren blushes and looks at the lemon. He raises an arm and throws the lemon out the window.

"YOU MONSTROUS FRUIT!"

"It's the devil fruit!"

"I've heard that before."

"I found it somewhere in the intehrnet~!"

I glance at the screen again.

_"H-Heichou... I'm so glad you did that to me. I don't know if you liked me. I don't even know if you like men."_

"AHAHAHA! That was the best!"

"ALRIGHT! I'M DONE."

We went our separate ways.

* * *

**Later that night...**

"They forgot to click X." Erwin sighs as he looks at the screen, which featured the lemon fanfiction the three had read previously.

...

"Damn. Levi's a beast. I'd better watch him more. Who knows how he practices like that."

* * *

Yay. Kinda M-ish. Oh well.

Next Chapter: **Chapter 4 - DON'T SPOIL THE SERIES FOR THE SERIES!**


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